Nurturing a Better Dog, Trick No. 2: Attention!

Attention, All Dog Caregivers!

Dogs, just like people, crave attention. It's one of the least obvious but most powerful rewards for encouraging the kind of behaviour you want to see again and again. Ignore a child and eventually he or she will start exploring ways to get some attention from you, and if that means being naughty just to get a reaction from you, that is what he or she will continue to do. We see so many kids who have learned bad behaviour just because it got them some kind of attention. These kinds of children likewise don't get enough attention when they're being good. Yet we blame them and punish them more and more (giving yet more attention!) as they keep repeating the behaviour that we have unwittingly encouraged. And so often we do exactly the same—or worse—with our dogs.

There are many rewards we can use to encourage certain behaviours in dogs, from treats to belly rubs, praise to excited chatter, walks to playtime. But it's that oft-overlooked reward of attention that brings out most behaviours simply because we give it without even thinking—and that's why it's a leading cause of dog problems; we're not being careful about what we give most attention to.

Here's a great dog-behaviour trick: give your dog attention whenever he or she shows a behaviour you want to see more of and ignore (or briefly correct) those which you don't. Pretty simple, huh? And pretty much common sense too. And yet we so often forget to put this into practice.

Be Very Careful What You Give Attention to and What You Ignore

Here's a typical example, one I encounter so often when helping people rehabilitate their dogs: A dog keeps jumping up on guests when they walk in the door, so I ask the person how he or she responds to that, and the reply is that they will shout at the dog, continuously push the dog down, repeat a command to the dog, or walk the dog into another room and close the door. I then ask what they do when the guest is now in the house and the dog has calmed down, and most often the response is that they whisper to their guest to please ignore the dog while he or she is being quiet so as not to evoke more excited behaviour. They have been doing the complete opposite of what they should do to encourage the dog to be calm when visitors come!

Turning Fear into Confidence

Another important example of how to use attention, which may seem difficult to comprehend and much more difficult to put into practice, but which has an instant, profound effect, is when dealing with fearful dogs: A dog may be terrified, for example, of other people when out walking; whenever someone nears or even approaches from afar, the dog starts to back away, pull at the leash, panic, thrash, and do all he or she can to avoid that man or woman. Often, the person on the other end of the leash then starts to talk calmly to the dog, trying to reassure or reason with him or her, speaking in soft, reassuring tones, repeating "It's OK. It's OK." again and again. Yet while the dog is walking happily beside them, they do and say nothing. Without realizing it, they have been encouraging the fearful behaviour while failing to encourage calmness. Yes, that's really all it is!

When I work with these dogs, I ask the person to not do or say (and try not to think about) anything while I calmly and confidently—and literally—take the lead. The dog always freaks out having me so close at first, yet I do nothing more than focus on the walk ahead and give a gentle tug on the leash to get the dog moving forward (a tug involves a quick but gentle pull and immediate release; we don't keep pulling on the leash, as this just maintains tension and invites resistance). While the dog is acting fearful, I ignore as much as possible and maintain a calm, assertive air—in fact, I act aloof, regal, like a leader who expects others to follow. As if by magic, the dog, craving a strong, fair leader to lead him or her through the terrifying ordeal, will choose to come and walk by my side, much to the disbelief of the person, who has never seen their dog choose to approach a stranger before. It gets even better:

Demonstrate Calm Assertiveness

We then walk, with me saying nice, soothing things to the dog while he or she behaves more and more like a happy, confident dog, but still focusing on the good walk ahead. I give a gentle tug without looking whenever the dog starts to think about pulling away, but never look at them, because that's not only attention, but also another invitation to challenge your leadership. When people approach, I anticipate the dog's behaviour and give a gentle tug upwards and towards me together with a firm 'Ah!' or 'Eh!' sound, which, to every dog, means 'Stop it' (those of you who speak Chinese, use the fourth tone; to everyone else, imagine stamping your foot as you say it, which will help you get he correct, short, sharp, deep, falling tone—other tones sound weak to a dog). I sometimes have to put my foot behind the dog to prevent him or her backing away, and may then put the dog in a sit position while the stranger walks past. Any behaviour that is a step towards calm acceptance is rewarded with kind words or a stroke; any time the dog's fear tries to take over, a gentle tug and a serious 'Ah!' or 'Eh!' is used. By doing this just a few times, the dog will start to accept people walking close by, and most often I can have the dog approaching people by his or her own accord simply by sitting down and ignoring the little guy or gal while he or she explores her new-found confidence.

How can we get such an incredible result so rapidly? We simply gave attention (with long, higher-pitched chatter) to the desired behaviour but ignored as much as possible, or gave abrupt, gentle corrections, with short, deep, serious grunts to those behaviours we wanted to stop. Dogs accept new leadership instantly, and they respond incredibly well to attention, and this is how we can achieve this life-changing, seemingly miraculous change in behaviour so quickly. It's a sad realization for the person that their kindness at the wrong times was actually causing fear and unhappiness in their dog. And it's not easy to change; I realize that. But if you want to help your dog, you must overcome your own need to show attention and affection when your dog is going through uncertainty and fear.

Apply the Magic of Attention to Anything!

This same technique works great for preventing all manner of bad behaviours, and can be adapted for all situations. For the dog jumping up on visitors, for instance, calm, gentle, lengthy attention should be given to the dog when he or she is quiet, and the jumping up should be deterred simply by having your guests completely ignore the dog (don't look, touch, or talk, and, in fact, have them behave aloof, as though the dog weren't there), and asking them to just turn away should the dog still try to paw them (don't use hands in any way, including pulling them away, as this just initiates play). Get your guests to give nice attention to the dog as soon as he or she calms down and have them stand up and turn away as soon as the dog tries tries to lift his or her paws off the ground. It works like magic. Try it.

Conclusion

I'll share with you the very best advice I have ever heard, not just for fixing problem behaviour in dogs, but for achieving greater success and happiness in life too: Whenever something keeps happening that you don't like, tell yourself "That's my fault" and ask yourself "What have I been doing to reward that behaviour?" More than likely, you have been unwittingly encouraging your dog to behave that way. Think hard about that. Be honest. Identify where you went wrong, adjust your actions accordingly, using attention and corrections or ignoring at the appropriate times, and watch how the problem disappears.

Now go and give some nice, calm, loving attention to your dog—but only if he or she is being good, calm, or quiet. And ignore or briefly correct excited, demanding, or other unwanted behaviour. And let me know how it goes; I look forward to hearing about the amazing changes you bring about in your own dog. You will be amazed.


Seán

(Remember, I will be demonstrating all these techniques in a series of videos to accompany these lessons, so look out for those later.)