Nurturing a Better Dog, Trick No. 5: Ignore Excited Greetings

It's All Important

If you have been following the series so far, I hope will have been practicing the techniques and already experiencing a positive change in your dog's behaviour. Although the methods are simple and some may seem to have nothing to do with your own dog's issues, by practicing them all regularly and consistently, you will be laying the foundations for a much happier, healthier, relaxed dog—and you. So, please, before you read on, go back and absorb the previous lessons and start practicing them from now on; you really will see great improvement just by following the previous advice.

This next lesson, although seemingly ineffectual at first glance, has the potential to bring about a huge difference for the better in your dog's behaviour, particularly if they have issues with excitability, anxiety, separation, or jumping up on visitors. Admittedly, it is one of the most difficult to carry out—not because it is hard to grasp or master, but because it goes against something that we tend to look forward to and enjoy every day. It's about ignoring your dog when you come home.

Ignore When Returning Home

"What?! Ignore my dog when he excitedly greets me on my return? Turn my back on his demands for a hug hello? Be aloof to my best buddy? Why on earth would I want to do that?!" I admit that it seems counterproductive (and a little rude), but the reasons why you should ignore your dog when you walk in the door are manifold and of profound importance to his or her state of mind.

For one, we should never reward excited behaviour that your dog initiates (we can of course go crazy with our dogs once in a while, but always on our terms, on our say, and only until we decide that it's time to stop). When your dog jumps up at you when you walk in the door and you accept that, you are telling your dog that you encourage him or her to lose control—and that means allowing your dog's issues to dictate his or her behaviour. To control our dog's problem behaviour, we must be in control of ourselves and every situation at all times.

Maintain the Status Quo

Another reason is that it is allowing your dog to disrespect you and not only giving the go-ahead to challenge your role in his or her pack, but also submitting to his or her bid for leadership. A pack leader would never tolerate another dog jumping on his or her back (in play, yes, but never at a time when it is important to demonstrate leadership).

Furthermore, by making such a huge fuss on our return, we are encouraging our dog to see our homecoming as one of the biggest events in his or her day, and that's not good, as it just leads to greater anxiety or out-of-control behaviour in anticipation of that moment. The same goes for when you leave the house: you should always make these daily events as low-key as possible—for your dog's benefit.

Control

Another reason is that we do not want to encourage our dogs to greet people (or other animals) in this way, as it is dangerous to all concerned, unappreciated by most recipients, and can lead to situations where your dog could be labeled as aggressive or out-of-control—and we all know where that can lead, especially if your dog jumps up at a child or somebody whose reaction will only make your dog more excited and, yes, aggressive.

Be Aloof!

Whenever a dog's pack leaders leave the den, it is usually to perform a potentially dangerous task, such as exploring new territory, defending boundaries, fighting, or taking food. It is likely that dogs—including the pack leaders—could be badly injured or even killed on such a foray. When the scouting party returns to the rest of the pack, they will be greeted enthusiastically, with lots of whole-body wagging and face-licking, which are joyous but respectful behaviours. Pack leaders will allow other dogs to greet them in this fashion, but they do something very powerful to reassure all the dogs of their continued ability to lead, to maintain the pack's status quo: they remain aloof.

Yes, aloof! You can do it! Just pretend you're royalty (though, as far as your dog's concerned, you really will be). When your dog gets too excited—and especially if he or she jumps up—simply turn away (don't get annoyed; you're regal, remember!) and ignore. You may have to do this several times. You may have to very briefly push your dog down (do not linger!) and then turn and ignore, but ignore you shall . . . but (and here's the good news you've been waiting for) only until your canine buddy has calmed down and no longer demanding attention; once that has happened, you can crouch down (so he or she doesn't have to jump up) and enjoy a much calmer, much more relaxed, much more respectful, and much more loving greeting.

Should your dog get excited or try to jump up or paw you when you're enjoying this calmer greeting, simply stand up in an aloof fashion and ignore your dog again until he or she calms down—which will happen within seconds—and then reward that with calm, quiet attention again.

Dogs Want to Know You're Still the Leader

And here's the thing to remember: Your dog will not perceive you as being mean and his or her feelings won't be hurt; instead, your dog will enjoy seeing that the pack structure is intact, his or her calm, assertive, benevolent leader is still in charge, and he or she won't have to step into the stressful role of leader for the pack's sake. The more you greet your dog this way, the happier, calmer, and better behaved he or she will become.

You should also advise all house guests (or anybody who greets your dog) to do the same: tell them your dog is in training and please do not look, talk, touch, or respond in any way to your dog until he or she is calm, and then ask them to give your dog a very calm, very nice, very relaxed bit of attention. Always, though, let your dog smell anybody he meets; it's how dogs meet each other, but we humans go and break protocol—rudely and aggressively—when we try to greet them the way we greet each other, with sight, sound, and touch.

Make Yourself Busy

I have a number of dogs to return home to several times a day, and although a couple may bark as they hear me outside, when I walk in the door, I am greeted respectfully and therefore more affectionately by them all. I make a point of busying myself for several minutes while ignoring them all, before greeting each affectionately once I'm sure I won't be causing excitement. Do the same—maybe go empty your washing machine, or quickly sweep the floor before greeting your dog on your return—and he or she will be so much happier knowing that you've returned from your foray unharmed.

As always, change first needs to come from you if you want to see change in your dog. Enjoy seeing how your dog reacts when you no longer reward anxiety or excited behaviour, and use it to improve the relationship you have with your dog. Ignore (or briefly correct) what you would rather not see again, and give long, enjoyable attention to the behaviour you want to encourage. Behave like a leader at all times (though it's fine to instigate and end fun or even crazy activities whenever you think it suitable), and understand that we all have perfect dogs—we just need to allow them to be so.

I act this way whenever I walk into the home of a dog I need to help rehabilitate (or when encountering strays)—and usually we get a better-behaved dog immediately, much to the exasperation of the person, who can't believe their dog is refusing to show his or her bad side now the dog-rehab guy is here! Just by ignoring dogs and therefore allowing them to smell me unmolested while I remain aloof, I am able to define our roles as leader and follower, and everything else from then on is easy because of the greater compliance and calmness I get from the dog from the outset, which always amazes the people of the house. Once the people mimic this way of greeting their dog, however, they get the same incredible results themselves—and you can do the same.

Summary

• All the lessons pertain to your situation, so follow them all if you have a problem dog, no matter what his or her issue is
  
• When you return home, ignore your dog until he or she is calmer and no longer demanding attention
• Being aloof maintains the status quo and your control over your and, consequently, your dog's behaviour
• Your dog will love you even more, and in a more secure way
• Have others greet your dog the same way
  

If you have any questions or concerns about any of these lessons, please just leave your comments below and I will respond as soon as I can, and perhaps amend the article accordingly, to address the points you raise. I won't ignore you, I promise.

Be aloof next time you greet your dog, and let me know how it goes.

Cheers!


Seán

Nurturing a Better Dog, Trick No. 4: Lead the Walk!

(Note: This is going to be a long article, but please do read it through in detail, as this is one of the most important ways to have a happier, healthier, more balanced dog, and a happier life for you.)

Lead the Walk

Are you one of those people who dreads walking your dog because it always involves your dog barreling along the road, dragging you, arm stretched forward, running in a slightly sideways gait, and holding on for dear life, just hoping that your companion canine doesn't do anything embarrassing or dangerous today? If you are, then who can blame you for not taking your dog out as often as you should—for at least three bathroom breaks a day, and for a combined time of at least forty-five minutes, most of which should be on one particularly long walk? But here's the catch: as I mentioned in Trick No. 1, if your dog isn't getting out on a long walk every day, he or she will put all that pent-up energy to bad use.

So, the less you walk your dog, the more out of control he or she becomes, and that means a much more difficult walk. It's a destructive cycle. But don't worry; I'm going to show you how to make your dog walks a pleasure. And we're going to start by making sure you're using the right tool.

The Right Equipment

The vast majority of badly behaved dogs who pull on leash wear the same piece of bad equipment: the harness. A harness straps across the chest, giving your dog the ability to put all his or her weight into dragging you along, while doing nothing to control the head, which is the secret to controlling both a dog and his or her issues. What you should be using is a slip leash, a magical piece of dog-training equipment that is great for both you and the dog. Instead of putting all the pressure on the front of the neck like using a collar does, a slip leash spreads the pressure out, turning it into a gentle squeeze that goes all around the neck—try it on yourself; give a gentle tug backwards or to the side and see that it doesn't choke, but instead applies pressure all around your neck (if the dog keeps pulling and pulling, though, it can choke, so never let your dog pull, and always use a short, gentle tug and immediate release; also, never leave your dog tied to anything with a slip leash, as it will tighten on the throat if the dog turns around and around).

A dog has a natural inclination to pay attention when he or she feels pressure on the neck, as this is how a higher-ranking dog will show dominance, by mouthing the lower dog's neck; it's also how a mum dog calms her pups when she picks them up by the scruff and the mild pressure around the neck causes the pups to automatically relax. Make sure you put the slip leash on the dog correctly, with the leash part going from your hand and across the back of the dog's neck and then under, rather than underneath it and then up and over the back. If it goes across the back of the neck first and then under and back on itself, the leash will tighten when tugged but then loosen when relaxed, because the ring can fall; if the leash part goes under the neck first, then the ring won't fall when you relax the leash, and it won't loosen, which will just create tension. (If you walk the dog on your left, imagine holding the leash open in a P shape as you put it over your dog's head; if you walk him or her on your right, imagine a b shape.)

Head Held High

And to get your dog walking next to you without pulling, you simply need to just make sure the slip leash is high up on his or her neck, right up under the jaw and as close to the base of the ears as possible. This prevents your dog being able to move his or her head in any direction, keeping him or her focused on the walk instead; if your dog tries to pull, all that will happen is the head will automatically be lifted, preventing his or her ability to get traction to pull ahead. The difference between having a slip leash high or low is huge, with the former making walks so much easier just by itself. It's particularly effective at encouraging your dog to be more confident, as it helps him or her keep his or her head held high; just as mood effects body language, body language effects mood, so don't let your fearful dog adopt a fearful posture.

The Trick to Taking the Lead

But there are some pretty cool ways to have your dog accept your lead so that you don't need to keep him in check physically, which is of course better all round. Read on to learn a fun trick to teach your dog that he or she should completely forget about trying to walk ahead of you, and instead take his rightful place beside or behind you, never challenging your leadership.

(For brevity, in the rest of the article we will discuss as though the dog will be walked on your left, but if you walk your dog in your right, just reverse all the instructions.)

Keep your dog on your left and the leash loose. You want to have a calm, assertive, confident attitude and body language, and a positive image in your head of how you want the walk to be —expect the walk to be great (dogs read your mind through your body language very easily). But do also be prepared for things to start to go wrong and know how you will deal with them quickly and effectively so that you can get back on track—more about overcoming possible setbacks later.

Now, and throughout the walk, do not look at your dog; this just invites a challenge and shows that you're not being a good leader who would be focusing on the walk, not the dog. Wait until the dog is calm and not demanding to move forward, then give a little tug and start walking. Imagine an invisible line that runs left-right in front of you. As soon as you notice out of the corner of your eye that your dog even tries to pass that line (starts to walk ahead of you), immediately turn right 90 degrees and give him or her a quick but light tug to follow (90 degrees is better because you can easily tug him to the side but not so easily backwards). Stay aloof, but enjoy as your dog realises that the attempt to get ahead immediately put him further behind.

Your dog will catch up and most likely try to overtake once more. Just once again change direction, nonchalantly, 90 degrees to the right, and give a tug. Remember, do not look at your dog when doing this. Keep your shoulders back and your head up, and focus on leading the walk.

Do this again and again and you will soon notice that your dog isn't trying so hard to get ahead. Keep it up. Maintain the positive attitude and ignore the dog. Act aloof. Enjoy yourself. When you get the hang of it and feel more in control, start cutting him or her off to the LEFT; you'll be amazed how your dog starts looking up at you to see what you want him or her to do—or maybe just to admire you as you demonstrate such great leadership. Do a few more right turns, then a few more left, whether your dog tries to take the lead or not.

Stay Relaxed

Apart from when giving a light tug, you want a loose leash throughout—tension in the lead is tension in the leader-follower relationship, and it also enables your dog to test his or her physical strength against yours, so don't do it. Relax your arms, and relax the leash (especially when he or she meets other dogs—but more about that in a later article).

This whole exercise is a mind game. Dogs need a leader. If the leader isn't you, your dog will feel that he or she has to fill the role. By constantly showing your dog that he or she will always be behind you until you say otherwise, he or she will learn that it's his or her place to follow. The only way you can lose this game is to give in. Stay focused on having a perfect walk with you leading and that's what will happen (particularly with dogs, but also as in life, what you think will happen will happen, so keep a positive image in mind).

Your attitude is key, so don't let yourself get frustrated; if you control yourself, you control the situation, and that means you control the dog.

Taking It On the Road

I can fix a bad puller in minutes practicing this technique; it's never failed yet, no matter how big or strong the dog, nor his or her age. It works. If it's not working for you, read the instructions again and see where you're going wrong. It's probably that you're watching the dog, tightening the leash, or imagining it all going wrong—so DON'T!

You can do this exercise in a quiet road or park, where you have space to keep turning when necessary. Once your dog is walking nicely behind or beside you, you can start to walk in a straight line, but keep using tugs upwards and inwards (towards you) as soon as your dog starts to move too far behind, to the left, or ahead. Don't watch the dog; instead, simply feel the direction your wrist is being pulled in and just tug back.

Keep Control

For the first few minutes or so of any walk, while you are establishing leadership, don't let your dog smell the ground, go to anything, or even look at anything. When your dog wants to pee on a tree, keep walking, but allow him to pee at another tree instead. You are in control, and your dog will like that. Once he or she accepts your lead, you can grant more freedom, allowing your dog more of the leash to explore the environment as he or she wants, but never allow your dog to pull (just tug back) and make sure you take the lead again when the situation requires it or when heading home.

Be Prepared

There will always be times when you feel your dog is not accepting your lead or maybe starts to play up, perhaps because he or she is scared or wants to go and investigate something; just accept these incidents as great opportunities to once again demonstrate your leadership, and be prepared for how you will handle them. Here are some suggestions:

1. Just stop and ignore, even if it is fearfulness. Don't go anywhere until your dog is back in a calm state. But do give praise as soon as the dog starts to relax more. Alternatively, you can gently put your dog in a more confident posture, such as sitting with head up or standing with tail out or up, and then give praise and/or calming strokes.

2. Do the change-direction exercise a few more times until your dog has fallen back into line.

3. Give a tug up on the leash and make a short, sharp sound to get your dog's attention, and then just carry on with the walk.

4. Give a touch or make a 'Tsst!' noise to quickly divert your dog's attention back to you.

5. Push your dog's flank (around his upper thigh / waist area). This is a dog way of asserting oneself. You can use the side of your leg or knee if easier. But DO NOT HIT—it's a gentle shove, pretty much like leaning against your dog, to put your dog's rear slightly off balance.

Always, don't dwell on the unwanted behaviour; just quickly move on and focus on the good walk ahead, and expect your dog to follow alongside you. Remember to correct the behaviour at the earliest possible opportunity, which may be when your dog even just looks at another dog or a cat.

And be careful not to project your own fears onto your dog—this happens a lot! When you see something that you think may be a problem, just ignore it, keep your head up and shoulders back, and make sure you are not unconsciously giving your dog a clue that he or she should be prepared for trouble ahead. Control yourself if you want to control your dog.

Good Dog!

Whenever your dog is walking nicely, give praise or a treat. Speak in high, soft tones, and rub his side (not the head, which can feel like a threat, or the chest, which gets dogs excited). Let your dog know when you're happy with what he or she is doing and you will see more of that behaviour. Just be careful not to raise the excitement level. But dogs love praise, so be sure to tell them when they're doing great.

With your dog's perceived leadership on the walk now relinquished to you, you will start to see a huge improvement in his behaviour, as he or she will realise that it's no longer his (stressful) responsibility to decide what to chase, attack, jump up at, get excited by, or be afraid of. When people start to lead their dog walks, they all report that their dog seems happier, that the walk is far more enjoyable, and that their relationship with their dog seems far more fulfilling. You will enjoy those same benefits; all you have to do is believe it and stay positive.

Summary

Here is a summary of the most important points you need to remember:

• Leading the walk is key to controlling your dog's behaviour in other situations.
• Use a slip leash, and be sure it is on the right way round and high up under the jaw.
• Use light tugs to communicate with your dog.
• When your dog tries to walk ahead, just change direction, 90 degrees, with a tug, so he or she is behind you again.
• You cannot achieve what you don't first envision; how you perceive the walk to be is key, as your dog can read your body language, so say positive, confident, and calm, and always envision a great walk.
• Your dog will accept your lead if you believe it and don't give up.
• When demonstrating leadership on the walk, control everything; grant (and take away) more freedom once your dog is following nicely.
• Dogs are happier when they have a cal, confident, benevolent leader.
• Be prepared for opportunities to demonstrate you are a leader.
• Whenever possible, correct unwanted behaviour before it even begins.
• Do not dwell on mistakes; move on quickly from upsets and get back on track, enjoying a nice, calm, walk with your dog.
• Envision a good walk, and do not project your own fears; control yourself and your thoughts and you will control your dog.
• Praise lavishly or give a treat whenever your dog is doing well.
• Dogs want to relinquish control and their issues to a good leader—remember that.

Now go lead that walk! And be sure to let me know how it goes.


Seán

Ten Tricks for Nurturing a Better Dog

Overcoming Behavioural Issues

Starting today, I will be posting a series of tricks for getting a better behaved dog. Whatever your dog's issue, be it for example fearfulness, aggression, obsessive behaviour, pulling on the leash, barking, or destructiveness, there are ten simple measures you can take to overcome them. Some are basic necessities for getting the best out of your dog; others deal with demonstrating to your dog that you are the leader and therefore the one to say which behaviours are acceptable and which are not. Although the principles are simple, the results of applying them, you will find, are nothing short of miraculous.

Leadership is all about being calm and assertive and showing confident body language and a serious tone of voice when unwanted behaviour needs to be corrected; at other times, when the emphasis is on encouraging a certain behaviour, then a more open posture and encouraging tone is required. There is never a place for shouting or hitting or violent handling, as these will only make your dog scared of you and more than likely create a whole new set of unwanted behaviours. The emphasis is on letting your dog know what is and isn't wanted, in a fair, controlled manner.

Rapid Change

Dogs learn very easily. Unfortunately, we're not always aware of what we are teaching them. So often when I am called in to rehabilitate a dog with severe behavioural issues it is clear that the people have unwittingly encouraged the very behaviour they want to stop while also unknowingly discouraging the good behaviour. We'll learn how to turn that around to help your dog understand just what is wanted of him or her.

The good news is that dogs accept new leadership and their new position in the hierarchy instantly, so you'll find that many of your dog's behavioural problems can be eradicated very quickly; as soon as you start behaving like a good leader, your dog will start to follow. The vast majority of dogs are happy to take on the role of follower and relinquish their perceived leadership role and all the stresses and anxieties that go with it. Understand and accept, though, that dogs will test leadership every day—not out of disrespect or to make you annoyed, but because it's in a dog's nature to ensure the pack structure is still solid and the leadership is strong; if it's not, a new leader must rise to the role, and this is when issues begin to arise, as most dogs just aren't cut out to lead, and will therefore make a real bad job of deciding what to bark at, be afraid of, chase, or attack. Be consistent with your rules and your dog will happily follow them; start to slack and watch as your dog tests the boundaries more and more or even start to think he or she is once again in charge.

It's no coincidence that the most nervous dogs belong to the kindest people, simply because they have been reluctant to be strict with their dog when he or she most needed it, even if that meant correcting fearful behaviour. Some people think that their dogs won't love them any more if they start correcting unwanted behaviour or demonstrate leadership in other ways, but this couldn't be further from the reality. Dogs need a calm, assertive leader in order to feel secure; when I go and put a slip leash on a fearful or anxious dog and do nothing more than refuse, with gentle tugs, to let that dog pull away from me, what happens next always surprises the person: that dog will stop trying to pull away and will instead come towards me, usually climbing onto my lap for a hug if I am sitting on the floor. This is because I have provided that dog with something the person hadn't: calm, assertive leadership. It's when they witness their dog going to cuddle a stranger for the first time ever that the people realise how real kindness comes from providing a dog with his or her needs, even if it goes against our instinct.

And that's what pack leadership is all about: changing our instinctual reactions to our dogs' behaviour so that we can show them in their own language who is the leader and just what is expected of them. Whenever I rehabilitate a dog, I am actually just helping the person change the way their dog perceives them. They learn to be assertive at the right times, but also to be loving, fun, excited, or relaxed at the right times too.

You Can Do This

So, get ready to start the course. This is based on the exact same lessons I give people who have asked me to help fix their dog's problems. Some can take these lessons, instantly comprehend the changes they need to make, and bring about instant improvement in their dog's behaviour all by themselves. That's what I'm hoping you will do, and I encourage you to post comments on your progress, or ask questions so that I can improve the lessons for yours and others' benefit. Some need to see the lessons put into practice, so I will be adding videos of the techniques later. Yet others believe that their own dog is special, that these techniques can't possibly work on their Fido, and give all manner of excuses as to why these methods simply won't work; for those people, I am happy to come show you, on your own dog, for a small fee, and my guarantee is that you pay nothing if you don't see an incredible difference in your dog's behaviour when I apply these lessons—I have yet to not get paid. These methods work. But you must believe it to see it for yourself.

Whatever your dog's issues, realize that they are fixable. When people asked Michelangelo how he managed to create such stunning sculptures from blocks of stone, his answer surprised them: he didn't need to create anything; he just chiseled away to release the beautiful piece that he knew was already inside. And that's all you have to do. Your dog is a good dog waiting to happen. You really aren't trying to achieve the impossible here; a well-behaved dog is in there, and all you have to do remove the obstacles that have so far kept him or her from showing you that. Your dog is a reflection of you; be a good leader, and your dog will be a good follower. We can all lead; I will show you how.

Relax and Enjoy

But don't expect 'perfection'; allow for your dog's individuality, especially when it comes to things like sociability or energy level. My own dogs know very little in the way of commands, other than 'come' and 'leave it', which are for their own safety. I like that they show their own character, and I don't enjoy seeing dogs whose every movement or will is controlled by the person caring for them. You and your dog will be happier if you don't give the impression that you control everything; instead, provide guidance as to what is not acceptable and allow your dog to be him- or herself within those boundaries.

So, enjoy the coming lessons. Practice them with your own dog. Post in the comments if you have any questions or setbacks or need anything explained better, and I will amend the posts accordingly. Posts will often be edited, so check back often or set it up so that you receive updates.

A happier relationship with your dog awaits you!


Seán